I hate this.

I hate how you can make me feel this way.

Forgive me.

So I'll cross my heart
And hope to die
Before I have a chance to lie
To you my dear
Who I wish no harm
But I know in the end this will turn out wrong
See I've been known to fall in love
But sometimes love just is not enough
And my heart will stray
Before too long
So please forgive me when I sing this song
I sing this song

When you like someone so much that you lose track of the rest of the world, that's deadly.

Believe what you want, and push away whatever else you want to. But I'll say what I want to say and what you choose to take seriously is entirely up to you.

Holy fuck.

It's hard to believe, after reading these blog posts again how far I've already grown in life. It feels like it's been a journey, but hell - I have so much more to go.

This is overwhelming to say the least.

Hold me, mommy.

Inspiration from others.

In order for two halves to be whole, those two halves have to be whole on their own.

I don't know how to feel about this summer.

In fact, I feel like I'm more disoriented than any other summers; knowing I'm not going back to school in September.

All I know is, life is a blur as it always has been.

!@$%

A moment forever a moment.

If never was a moment then I swear I'll never have a never moment again.

Maybe it's just me, but I just can't seem to find it. I'm sorry.

Well it's probably for the best, at least in my opinion.

If I had a thousand years to live...

Then maybe these thoughts wouldn't bother me as much.

Lesson learned.

I wish I learned years ago that the way to protect myself from emotional ache is to not show emotions at all. Now I'm carefree and without a hurt in my life, because I now show nothing.

I hate you.

A justification of the human mind.

It’s possible, but yet plausable what this world gives us is only a pinch of it’s wholeness. The fear in eyes and the gutter in minds shows only that the human mind is flawed, but yet produced flawlessly. If we are to seek out who we are then why aren’t we doing it? If life is about discovering yourself, then why loathe around in the nothingness.

Life after death may not exist but death during life surely does. In a perfect world, everyone is dying and it’s not a lie. If death is the final ritual, the final task of our life then why do we fear? It’s inevitable to the least but the fear of death is so great some would prolong it by taking another’s life. If the existence of ourself is just to serve then so be it, but justify our human minds.

If only

This IS a love STORY

But if only love can be found in the empty hearts of non-believers.
We only have hopes to be held against our will in a relationship, where the presence or absence of the other would actually affect us. IF only the absence of love meant other great traits would come out, if only.
Those heart broken souls with nothing to mend but a thimble and sewing thread hope for more than just a breath taking moment, but a moment that would remove all time. Where the moment would freeze for more than just a moment.
If only this was a love story.

Do you think...

Something as simple as this will put me out of the state of mind that I'm feeling? As common of an answer as "I will, I promise", will you take me through the step by step journey of rediscovering who I am and what it is that makes me feel? Or will you leave me again alone in the dark cold room where I am of nothing, isolated in my own presence and haunted by fear. Regardless though, it's proven that only you will be the one who can tell me because my judgment has not yet to appear.